December 18, 2007

Intruder in Jakarta

You will NOT believe what just happened at Casa KBB in Jkt!!!



There is a huge storm here tonight. I was driving home in it and the city was flooded and you could barely see two feet in front of you. Even by monsoon standards, this one was a doozy.

So I’m in my apartment, listening to massive thunderclaps and having lightening light up my room while I change clothes when I hear a weird noise out in the common room.

At first I ignored it – thought it was storm related. But it persisted. A sort of chattering, high pitched noise.

I peeked outside my door into the common room and saw this black blur whirring back and forth in the air. A bird I thought. A bird got into my apartment and is trapped. I started to get that “aw poor little confused thing” feeling and just then it landed on my curtain.



I took a few steps toward it to see how I could rescue my fine feathered friend. And as I did so, it became clear: It was not a bird.

It was a BAT!


A BAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Just as I saw it’s little face and its claws gripping the curtain, THE LIGHTS WENT OUT.



OUT. 



I’M TALKING PITCH BLACK OUT.



Then, right on cue, a thunderclap cracked. I SCREAMED and ran and bolted myself in the bedroom. A lightening bolt lit up the room and I screamed again. Grabbed the phone.




IT WAS DEAD.

The only thing missing from this scenario was ominous organ music, but no matter, because I heard it in my head anyway.



Now what??? I was NOT going to stay in that room with that thing right out there. Cell phone. Need my cell phone. Have to call in back up.

But my cell phone was in the living room. I WAS TRAPPED.

The generator kicked in and the lights came on, enabling the panic level to retreat from from sheer hysteria to just totally freaking out.



I opened my door. Peered out. Got a visual of my cell phone. Got a visual of the bat still clinging to the curtain fluttering its webby wings. 



Uchk!!!!!!!!!! How GROSS is THAT?????



Decided to make a run for the phone. Got it. Retreated at the speed of light (or was that just another lightening bolt?), barricaded myself in my room, and called the front desk.



Unfortunately, I blanked on the word BAT in Indonesian. Havent really needed that one much over the years.

 “There’s a bird in my room,” I shrieked! “And not just any bird... It’s the black one with wings that only comes out at night!!!”



He started naming a bunch of random birds, “Blackbird? Crow? Owl?”



“No no no no NO,” I responded. “It’s the one that drinks blood like Dracula!!!” I insisted.




“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” he said, a bit freaked out himself now, “kelelawar.” 



“YES, KELELAWAR” I responded. “That’s exactly it.” I felt my grad school Indonesian vocab list flowing back to me now. I almost felt happy for a split second, but that feeling quickly passed.” NOW G-E-T I-T O-U-T O-F H-E-R-E!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I yelled!!!



Security came up armed with – A DISHTOWEL. I asked them if they were raving MAD. It’s a BAT, not a cockroach. Apparently they hadn’t believed the crazy bat story.



They inspected the curtain but couldn’t find it. I insisted it was there. They shook the curtain and peered and poked and found nothing. They proceeded to search the most bizarre corners of the apartment, like under the rug and behind the pillows. They were obviously doing this just to humor me, assuming that the drama of the storm must have knocked a screw loose or something and that I had imagined the bat. 


I was not amused. In fact I was exasperated beyond description. That thing was nanoseconds away from flying at me like the proverbial bat outta hell, and these guys were inspecting the marble. I lost patience and ordered them back the curtains. They went back, smiling, obviously expecting not to find anything.

And then came the fluttering sound.

There was a deafening silence as we all stared at each other. The smiles disappeared.

They went back at the curtains more earnestly but also with more caution, like a Tiger might just jump out any second. More fluttering sounds. They looked up behind the curtain and THERE IT WAS, hanging from the bar on the ceiling.



Let’s just say that my screams as they wrestled that thing out of here are still reverberating in East Java.



So now that the creature of the dark is gone, the obvious question remains: WHAT WAS A BAT DOING IN MY APARTMENT AND HOW MANY OF ITS SIBLINGS ARE STILL HERE??????????????

Tonight is going to be a LONG night!